im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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