you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
