You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
