YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
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