i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm getting married
To pizza
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
