saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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