FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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