I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
