I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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