Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
