after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
