just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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