i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
