butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
