btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
