I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
