found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
