I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
