she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
