I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
