and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize