i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
you never un-have a 4some
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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