Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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