he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm really busy with my period
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