i don't like sucking hair
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just gift wrapped bread.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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