Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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