dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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