I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
