This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
