I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
