it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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