Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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