I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
