If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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