I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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