the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize