He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
