Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm too high and old for this...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
