You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's blow job season.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
