Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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