i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
