There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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