omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This toilet bowl is my home.
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