When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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