There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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