Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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