my mouth tastes like poor choices
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
