I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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