actually, I'm a sock model
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
