His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
