I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
