Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
