so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
