He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
