Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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