It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
