Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize