I want to have your abortion
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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