I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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