dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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