ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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