new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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