when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
