Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
