Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's shark week go big or go home
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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