The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
