when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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